we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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