I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
