Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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