I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize