Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
