your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
