no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
