Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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