I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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