how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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