Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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