He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
