i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
