Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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