There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
