Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It's not a walk of shame if you run
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize