Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
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I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
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Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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