Your mouth is God's brothel.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize