we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
