Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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