i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
