...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
