I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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