Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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