I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
