The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
