I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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