things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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