so let's talk penis.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
