The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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