I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ladies don't puke and tell
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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