So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
