if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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