You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
