if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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