Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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