You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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