You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
