you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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