I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
