i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You have to summon your inner elephant
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
