I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
