Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
