It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
