babies were throwing up all over the place
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
