no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I lost the right to judge tonight
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
