Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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