playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
