What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We're not piercing ourselves today.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
