I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
