All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
