hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
