eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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