I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
