I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
