Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
