omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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