Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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