i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
