he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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