Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Will exercising make me less horny?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
