The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i think my tv is drunk
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
