Me too!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
