you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
