What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
