You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
