I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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