if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
