i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm too high and old for this...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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