I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize