I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
