if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
