Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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