As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
