i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Randomize
