Everything about him screamed your future.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Two words: blizzard sex
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
