I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
