Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize