I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
